incomprehensible demoralization

After not using drugs for six years I relapsed. At the age of 34 I cleaned my act up again. Shortly before my40 birthday my girlfriend had made a decision to leave me and my mother started peritoneal dialysis. Several weeks later at my girlfriends birthday party I took a drink. Shortly after that drink I got a DUI, lost my job,  and my housing, went to jail numerous times, (once for trying to rob an undercover cop), and fractured my foot severely in a drunken and drugged daze. For two years I swam in the incomprehensible demoralization and insanity of substance abuse.  By the age of 42 I had decided that I had had enough.